Understanding the art of Honking

HORN-OK-PLEASE!!  Do you remember this slogan?  These words were invariably etched to the backs of most lorries or trucks.  I am still not sure what exactly the lorry driver intended to convey to the driver behind him, possibly he was requesting the latter to honk loudly when he tried to overtake him.  

Words apart, the sound of the horn in itself makes for an interesting study.  In fact, understanding the honking sound is an art; and definitely warrants the creation of a new subject called “Honkology”, (on the lines of the much studied medical field of Oncology), having its own syllabus and dedicated hours of study.  To briefly understand this, let us look at some of the honks and their meanings.  

• A single, gentle beep - The driver wants to alert you to his presence, without actually giving you a heart attack.  His mood is friendly and his intention is to give you a gentle nudge – telling you to move aside or to move faster ahead.

• A loud, longish press of the horn – The driver, in this case is a little annoyed and is finding his fellow riders irksome.  He seems to say “Common Man, MOVE it.  We don’t have all day!” or “Stop driving like your GRANDMA, get on with it!”

• A series of loud bangs on the horn – This driver has nearly come to the end of his tether and will not suffer any more foolishness on the road.  He is ANGRY and his honking screams “What the @#$$%%$&*!!”  He is surely running out of expletives to curse you and your tardy driving skills.  The sooner you get out of his way, the better.

• The ‘signal turned green’ beep – This is the typical horn that you will hear when you have stopped at a traffic light.  The instant the signal turns green, a few drivers press their horns to awaken sleepy-headed drivers in front of them.  There is hardly a second’s gap between the signal turning green and the blaring of horns from these self-appointed traffic-light keepers!  They seem to say, “Wake up folks, WAKE UP, start your vehicles and get going”.

Horns and honking are used not only while driving on the road but also as a secret code.  My neighbour, much to our irritation, on reaching home would honk loudly to the note of “pah pah papapah”.  This code was to inform his family that he had arrived home and that they had to open the gate for him. This routine was followed by all the members in his family and irrespective of the time they arrived home – evening or even late in the night- we would have to suffer with gritted teeth and hear them playing out their honking code.  We requested them to stop this irritating practice but they would not listen and our requests fell on deaf ears.   So to teach them a lesson, we all decided to follow their honking code.  Right outside their house, we would go “pah pah papapah” on our horns; one of the family members would come out to open the gate thinking that someone from their own family had returned home.  When they got fooled a few times this way, they realized their folly and much to our relief, stopped using their honking code!

      So you see, with a lot of case studies and examples, I am sure we can make the “Honkology”              subject interesting and easy to follow.  Do give it a serious thought OK, PLEASE?