Thursday, May 30, 2013

Handling of women - 2 stories from the Mahabharata and Ramayana

Recently, I was reading this book called A handbook of Hindu Mythology that contained anecdotes from - yes, you guessed right, Hindu mythology!  While reading it, two stories stood out - not for their actual content but more for the tacit meaning that they implied. 

The first is the story of the Pandavas and Draupadi trying to cross Mount Meru to reach the heavens. As we all know, only Yudhishtira made it to Swarga.  The first to fall was Draupadi - her weakness was that she loved Arjuna more than her other 4 husbands.  Now, it was but natural that she loved Arjuna more - after all, he was the one who rightfully won her and she actually did spend a few hours extra as his wife than as wife to all the brothers. (time lapse between Arjuna marrying her and then taking her home to present to mother Kunti).  But no, Yama does not consider that.  So, Draupadi falls first.
The other brothers also had some weakness or the other - Sahadeva for being smug about his knowledge, Nakula for being vain about his good looks, Arjuna for being jealous of all other archers, and lastly Bheem for being a glutton.   Now, when Yudhishtira reaches Swarga and finds that Draupadi and his brothers are in Naraka, he asks Yama to take him also there as he does not want to forsake his beloved brothers and wife.  Yama smiles and tells him that they will indeed have to spend some time in Naraka for their imperfections after which they would then join him in Swarga. Yama also tells Yudhishtira that he will also have to go through Naraka for the one white lie that he uttered (Ashwathama hatha kunjaraha). 
Now this is what struck me as ironical - this man, known for his righteousness and virtuosity and known as Dharmaraja for being the upholder of dharma, had to pass through Naraka for uttering a white lie but what about his terrible treatment of his wife?  He looked upon Draupadi  as a mere commodity and traded her in the game of dice.  Is that not a greater misdeed than the white lie he uttered?   Should he not have been punished for this wretched act?  If he had to stay in Naraka, it should have been more for this reason than for the white lie.

The second story that caught my attention was that of Surpanaka approaching Rama in the forest and asking him to be her lover. Rama refuses saying that he is married and his wife is right there with him.  Well, that was fine (though I actually don't agree with the second part of his sentence) but then he cheekily tells her to approach Lakshmana saying "he has no wife here".
I found this atrocious!  Did Rama mean that as Lakshmana's wife wasn't around, he could take on Surpanaka or anybody else as a lover?  How could that great soul revered as "Eka patni vrata"  even think of suggesting such a thing?  Knowing his brother was also married, should he not have told Surpanaka that as both of them were already married men, they could neither of them oblige her?  If  only Rama had done this, the whole course of the Ramayana would have completely altered - Lakshmana would not have cut off Surpanaka's nose and ears and nor would Ravana have avenged his sister's humiliation by carrying away Sita!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Summer Holidays - Play all day!

Medhini doing her bit!
Manasvi cleaning the windows!
The schools are closed and the girls are enjoying their summer vacation.  The summer break is truly a time for relaxing and enjoying life.  As children, I am sure all of us used to  look forward to this 2 month break and spend our time playing all day long with friends and cousins.  I can see the same happening with my 12-year old elder daughter.

The neighbourhood that we live in has a lot of kids pretty much the same age as Manasvi.  So it is day long play time for her.  If I need to see her, it can only be during mealtimes - she has a quick breakfast and is out of the house; she is back home in time for lunch.  My otherwise slow eater of a daughter now finishes her lunch in record time and rushes out to join her friends.  The next time she is home, I can set the clock to 4:30 PM - tea time.  After a cup of milk and raiding the larder for a tea-time snack, she is back on the street to play Lagori, Kings or any other game that she and her friends are keen to play that day. After a long day of play, she is tired and strolls back home by 7:00 pm, picks up the TV remote, and chants out loudly -"Ma, I am hungry....what is for dinner?"   We followed this "heavenly" routine for two days, but of course, there is always a villain in every happy situation and this time, it came in the form of MOM.   I laid out a few rules to be followed -

1. A small chore to be done everyday -this could be cleaning the bookshelf /cupboard, cleaning the windows, watering the plants, washing the school bag...  this way, I hope to get her involved in all forms of labour and not resent doing certain jobs.

2. Spend more time on reading books  and a little less on watching TV

We have been able to follow this routine and it is a win-win for both of us.  Manasvi was especially thrilled today while cleaning the windows.  Our neighbour watched her do the job and was all praise for her.  He appreciated her effort and wished his own grand daughter would try and emulate her.  Manasvi's face lit up with pride while her Mom's face beamed with satisfaction and of course, the glass that she was cleaning took on a brighter shine!

Having fun while performing the chore!